Working on homework

Yes, it’s true…I anticipate going home Friday afternoon. Like Dad, I’m slightly nervous about taking care of myself. I feel pretty strong at this point, but that may have something to do with becoming accustomed to Mom and Dad taking such good care of me. The 22 steps in my apartment shouldn’t be an issue, but the cooking may be a bit challenging because I have lost all desire to cook. Hopefully my love for cooking will return… I did cook today; I made Dad a bowl of cereal, and a bagel sandwich with Canadian bacon on it. With that meal, I could become the next Paula Dean.

Yesterday I spent much of the day sleeping, only to wake up for meals. I finally took off my pjs at 4 o’clock and headed to Qdoba for dinner. It was yummy however, I couldn’t eat my entire burrito. Dad and I were driving through the area in which my high school was located and I was so surprised to see how much it had grown. They even have a St Louis Bread Co., something I never thought would happen. Thank goodness those businesses weren’t there when I was going to high school, I would have weighed 200 lbs.

Last night we watched Signs. I can’t believe I had never seen that movie before. It was pretty good, but it caused me to have bad dreams all night. That’s nothing new though..I simply can not watch scary movies before bedtime.

I’m not sure what we are doing today. I may run some real estate errands with Mom or head out with Dad to find some more plants for the garden. He is looking for some Italian basil–The garden looks real good. Everything is planted and now we just wait for them to grow. I can’t wait to have some fresh veggies. Hopefully the deer don’t take over the zucchini like last year!

Creagle has adjusted to county living; I almost feel sad to have to take her back to the city later this weekend.

Gorgeous Day!

Today is such a pretty day and it’s so nice to be able to be active outside. My muscles seem to be coming back, slowly but surely. Sophie and I have been riding my Dad’s 3-wheeled bike, actually Sophie seems to have taken ownership, but that’s fine. She is such a doll! At 6 years old I don’t want her to change at all..she is still so innocent unlike the boys who have somewhat outgrown Aunt Manda and their grandparents.

 Dad is BBQing a beef brisket and the smell is driving poor Creagle out of her mind. I shouldn’t laugh, but she is such a lil’ piggie. Jeff is heading out later and we’ll all have a wonderful dinner prepared by one of the best cooks ever. Alex is at Six Flags with friends and should arrive later this evening.

 Sophie just noticed I wasn’t out watching her and wants to know when I’m going to be back out. So, I better head out for now.

Class

Hi there!

Made it to class last night and all went well. Sitting for two hours in an uncomfortable seat was a bit challenging, but it felt nice to get back to my routine. My parents dropped me off and picked me back up at 9-Both of them were exhausted since it was way past their bedtime. I have two assignments to make up and a final in May so things seem to be okay in that class.

I’m feeling pretty good. I woke up too early..I guess that’s the price you pay for staying with your parents who wake up at the crack of dawn. I’m ready to be home in my own place, but I’m still not sure how that’s all going to go. I complain about my parents early schedule, but in reality I am so thankful to them for their love and support. It’s just difficult to be 33 years old and living with your parents. I’m sure many of you see my point.

I’m not sure if Dad mentioned this, but when I was asked in the hospital how old I was, I responded I’m 22 —–I WISH!

Drs. Visit

I made it through my appointments today…barely. The waiting rooms were crazy and I was pretty irritated by most of the people around me. I wanted to check with Mom to make sure it wasn’t just me being a pain. You see, I am not nearly as patient as I was previous to this bout with pneumonia. Mom agrees that the waiting room was a disaster.

My breathing test was low at 61% which was a huge drop since January when my lung function measured at 89%, but I’m really trying to keep my head up. I just need to work to increase the numbers. I go back for another test on May 5th and I’m hoping that the numbers move up! I suppose I should step up my physical therapy. Dr Hachem–love him–mentioned that everything looks good and that I’m moving in the right direction. Let’s all just keep our fingers crossed that I can closer to where I was prior to my illness. I’m ready for a hike, but I realize I’m too weak to make it too far. Baby Steps, baby steps. In addition to discussing my lung capacity with Dr Hachem I mentioned my memory issues. He responding with “it’s normal”, apparently I was given LARGE amounts of Versed which has almost an amnesia affect on people. He asked me if I could remember what I had for lunch yesterday and I couldn’t give him an answer. To respond, I asked him if he remembered what he had for lunch yesterday and he did. He never did tell me what he ate, so I’m not sure if he was being truthful. He wants to give all my issues some time to heal and states that two weeks is simply not enough time to completely heal. You know me though…I want everything yesterday. Luckily, I do see the light at the end of the tunnel! I can’t say that I felt that way a week ago.

Heading back to class tonight. I feel like a kid; Mom is driving me and picking me up. I’m looking forward to getting back to classes. There only a few weeks left in class and I hope that I can hold on to my A’s, but B’s will be fine too. No D’s please. I dropped one class because I didn’t really think I could catch up in such a short amount of time. Plus, I love psychology classes so I don’t mind.

I ran into a couple a know from Second Wind, a support group for which I am a board member today. For the life of me I can’t remember their names though :( Anyway they are from Shreveport, LA and the husband received his lung transplant and was out of the hospital eight days after his surgery. I was so thrilled to see him without oxygen, walking without any assistance. It’s still so amazing to see how lives change because of organ donation. I hope people understand that…even though it’s a pain to be immune-suppressed, I wouldn’t have any other way!

9:30 – Tuesday

Had a nice visit with Nia and Adam last night and it sounds like I’ll get to see Deb and Denise Thursday night. It’s so good to have such wonderful friends!!! I made breakfast this morning for Mom and Dad. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t the best…I’m ready for a Mexican omelet with guac, sour cream, black beans, salsa—mmmmm. Maybe I’ll try that another day. I heading back to class tomorrow night. I’m a bit nervous so nervous I had a dream about high school. That could be related to heading back to class or it could be because I’ve been in contact with a lot of high school friends lately. It’s nice to have so many people pulling for me, especially people I didn’t know well or at all. All my life I’ve always wanted to  know as many people as possible-I feel that I am getting closer to that goal. People are so interesting!

Well, I am heading out with Mom for some real estate errands and stopping by my place to pick up my laptop. I’ll get to see what the guys did to the walls. I know their painted, but I have no idea what color. I’m excited to see what color they chose-They both know me well so I’m sure they selected something plain!Let’s hope….

Creagle went home last night. She and my parent’s dog Max weren’t getting along so well. I was sad to see her leave, but Jeff was sure happy to have her back. I still plan on heading home soon-for sure by next week! I’m ready to have my space back–

I hope this post finds you doing well. I’m better, getting stronger each day.

Take it easy.
A

Thursday, April 8 2010

Hello,

I finally slept in today and it felt good. You have no idea how nice it is to be able to sleep without someone coming in every minute for some reason or another.

Creagle and Max got out of the yard this afternoon and I freaked. I ran (yes ran) down the stairs to get both dogs.  Once I got close I wasn’t sure what to do because have so little strength. Mom heard me yell and came out. She attempted to pick Creagle up which is no easy task. Max took off down the street and poor Mom had to take off after him. It all happened so fast, but I can now report both dogs are safe. I would have been crushed if they had gotten lost.

Today, after sleeping in, I watched more TV. I’m so sick of tv. At home, I rarely watch a lot of tv so it is getting real boring. Every show I said I wouldn’t watch; I’ve watched! American Idol — watched it once and I can say that I’ll never watch it again! Sorry to those who really enjoy the show, I know some people live for the show, but it’s just not for me! I can’t wait until I can get back into the swing of things. Everyone keeps telling me that it will happen and to be patient. I’m tired of being patient, but I’m trying. I’d love to put my sneakers on and just start running like Forest Gump! The sad thing is I’d probably be so tired after putting on my clothes and shoes that I wouldn’t make the run. Baby Steps…all baby steps.

Having people tell me stories from when I was sedated are funny and at times very, very scary! I wonder if this is how a heroin addict feels when coming off drugs. It seems like I would say anything to get soda. I bet I was really a pain in the ass. I hope I will get my memory back soon, it makes me worried about heading back to school with a bad memory. I plan to head home next week. The guys have been doing a lot of work on the apartment and I’m looking forward to seeing the improvements. It will be nice to get back to “normal”.

Jeff is heading out here tonight and I think we’re going to get a pizza. Food just doesn’t taste the same since I’ve been back. I guess being on a ventilator for almost 9 days messes up the body. I did get Serendipity ice cream earlier in the week and it was wonderful. Since I lost so much weight I should be eating lots of fattening foods, but not a lot of sugar.

Well, Creagle is ready for belly-rubs and I’m just the Momma dog to do it! If you’ve called or written and I haven’t responded, I apologize, it’s been difficult to adjust and get back into the swing of things. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers!

Love

Lucid…?

Hello there!

I’ve been out of the hospital for a week now. It feels good to be away from the hospital, but a bit scary. The scariest part of this whole situation has been remembering so little. I was sedated on a venilator and can’t remember much of anything. I thought my parents put me in a nursing home – the things that are still going through my mind are crazy. I see glimpses of what happened and what led to what, but I can’t connect the dots. I hate the feeling of not knowing. When I was a kid and my parents would have parties, I would hide so I could hear everything that was happening. I’m feeling similar to that now-

I thought I was away for 10 years, when asked what year it was I responded 2020. My Mom tells me that global warming is not true-Is that true? I know there have always been skeptics, but really? That’s great if it is true, but I don’t buy it.

Trying to discover what is real and whats not is no easy task. Just think of a time when you drank too much and you spend the next day trying to figure out what you said or what you did, but it’s real hard to remember. That’s how getting back to ‘normal’ after sedation has been from me.

I’ve been getting stronger each day. Yesterday Mom and I walked the entire grocery store and I didn’t have to sit once.  My bottom lip feels like I had botox, I guess because of the venilator tube pushing down my lip for so many days. Honestly, I  thought I had another transplant!! It’s all been very strange.

I want to thank you all for your love, support and prayers! Without them, I don’t think I would be here. I’m just trying to get stronger and get back to my  life.

Creagle has been out here with me and it’s been great! I missed her except her breathe – yuck!    

What a Thanksgiving!

Well, we arrived safely home from Georgia and what a trip it was! I slept for nearly six hours today while Mom drove home. Needless to say, I feel energized and unable to sleep! Oh well, I still have a lot of homework to do before tomorrow and Weds., nothing like waiting until the last minute aye?

This afternoon while making a pit stop at a gas station in Kentucky, a woman wearing a lung transplant t-shirt walked right passed by me. I felt an immediate surge in my chest and of course I had track her down and talk to he. I mean really, we may not know one another, but we’re family. Right? Anyway, we chatted for a few minutes and it seems she is having some rejection issues. Since it had only been 7 months since her transplant in Iowa, I explained that the doctors shouldn’t have any problems fixing her issues. It is such a small world..I mean really, two lung transplant patients meeting in the middle Kentucky–geez.

Is the gingerbread man married?

My day started out wonderful today! The ending isn’t too bad either except the apartment has not water because of a messed up pipe downstairs in the basement. Tomorrow is going to be shower free Thursday!!!! WOHOOO!

Back to this morning.  I stopped at STL Bread Co near my place for one of their new Gingerbread Lattes. I was thrilled until my debit card was rejected three times. Finally, the cashier noticed that it had expired. As usual, I did not have much cash. I decided to change my order to a regular coffee that I could afford with change. The cashier couldn’t void my initial order without the manager so to the front the manager appeared. I explained the situation and the manager decided to buy my latte. She stated that she had seen me there in the mornings and studying there in the evenings, in her eyes I was a good neighborhood customer and she wanted to help me out. Little does she know that I’m not that good of a customer. I typically go to the ST Bread Co (which it is still called in my neighborhood, not Panera) for the free WiFi, coffee and bagels. Usually I spend no more than $4 when I visit. Oh well, it’s the thought that counts. Right? Anyway, that gingerbread latte was the best latte ever –was it because it was free or was it just tasty? Hmm, maybe I’ll try the same scheme tomorrow. JUST JOKING!!!!

When that happened this morning I felt like crying –isn’t that weird? I suppose it’s just nice when people are nice. I often feel like I’m too nice until something like that happens. I’m glad that I’m a nice person even if I do get walked on sometimes!

Oh, I’m sure you want to know about The Creag? She is doing very well! Yesterday she met the man of her dreams at the dog park. His name is Fritz and he is a dachshund beagle mix–they will make beautiful babies together! Long luxurious ears, caramel eyes and that silly howl! I can’t wait to be a Grandma. Okay, now I’m just slap-happy, I better get to bed; 6am will be her before I know it.

Sleep well and have wonderful dreams….

October 2009

October 2009 has officially be named the wetest October since 1913. So it hasn’t been my imagination about the rain and depression. Fortunatly, tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and 50—ahh the perfect day! I want to go up north to alton to see the trees, but they may already be gone from the trees.

Started a new Yoga class at school two nights a week and it should get me back in the swing of being active again. I’ve been so totally lazy lately and I need a major change. THe instructor is really sweet and honest. Last night a girl came in late to class sneezing and coughing. Finally, the instructor Michele told the girl to “Beat It” in a nice tone. I wish all professors/teachers would ask their sick students to leave. Still no word on the vaccine at Barnes! Although, I have a tip on the vaccine at a downtown location. I hope the get it by the weekend if possible.

I’ve been working on my resume’ and it’s a HUGE challenge! Needless to say, there are LOTS of holes in my resume.